Hates when lazy rude people with no shown talent have the NERVE to shut my door cause they dont like my singing. Well guess what I dont like your face you dont see me throwing a paper bag over it every time do ya? Just not in a good mood today. People are so mean, I know I'm perfect. I never think I'm perfect at anything, and people go around saying that shittt GARRHHH!!

Forever Pain No Sleep

Forever on my mind
Forever in my thoughts
Forever in my beating heart
Forever in my life
Forever you
maybe the forever me

Take my heart hold it tight
Right here is where I feel right
I love you so
Please don't go
Bored you are
Led to scars
Such a boy
Playin' like it's a toy
Scratch my heart
Tear it apart
Laying in your arms forever
Is now a never
How could this be
That you've hurt me

I just can't sleep
I'm not tired
You're all that's on my mind

So I wrote some stuff and put it together as one sorta? Well the last stanza is garbage, the first is its own, yet it could work with the middle one which I love and adore! I wrote it in school yesterday, simply because I was bored. The middle isn't how I feel but how I feel someone else would, if they were being played like a toy, yet to deep in love to care. Not that I know anyone, but something in TOK about emotion masking reality made me think of the pain one would feel. . . .

trash man

you sit there in your big green filthy mack truck....fat and gross you flick a ciggrette out your window and continue to let your arm hang out....so gross...

i need to edit this big time1 phone and blog...i must learn how hahaha

you disgtme

Last night

Last night, was not the last night. I love you, but you have to do what you have to do, baby I needed to do that. I had to have support to help me not cave. I want to be with you, but you aren't good for me. I wasn't as happy as I could be. I ... You... YOU'RE MY DRUG!

I am addicted, and it hurts, but I know I can change. We together are the perfect pair. Be responsible is what I will do. I can be just friends. The best of friends. Know this...Please never forget about this... I will always love you!

Do I have to title this?

This lump in my throat grows bigger and bigger. I had this feeling today, it was weird I didn't wanna talk to you. I wanted to be with you. I thought " I don't wanna ruin my good mood " I end up crying. I can't do it. All I do is hurt you. That's not how this is supposed to be. I CANT DO THIS! It hurts so much. I can do this. I don't want to... I can't even finish this blog. I wont be able to sleep tonight knowing he is hurting. I probably won't be hungry for a while... Whatever. Bye my dear blog... Aka, Diary for the public <3

Amused

Yet another post on the little things in life. The other day I figured out you can put donuts in a binder right through the middle and they won't fall out :) So happy that day haha

So, got a random video to share :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-58B6JkX6c&feature=channel Watch it LOL it's good

I make my life

Sometimes I wonder why life is so difficult, but guess what. It's my fault my life is difficult. All i had to do was listen follow the rules be a good girl and do her homework, but no, I shot myself in the foot :'(
     Sometimes I'm scared. All you have to do is get mad, and curse. It will remind me of past experiences with another guy. Please, you wouldn't scare me so much if you'd just watch your language. I don't like violence and cursing. It worries me. Scares me. Makes the situation different then if you could just talk about it. Thanks.
    

Heartache

My heart feels achy like a sick body.

My heart hurts.

Dams break and water falls

     

I can feel it. I am gonna end up crying tonight. Crying myself to sleep most likely. I can feel my body getting hot. i feel the tears coming. The dam holding back the flow of tears is getting weak. I don't think i can hold it in any longer. They are going to bust. There is a lump in my throat and i feel like someone is squeezing my heart in vise grips. I don't know what to do anymore, just curl up and cry? Wish for the best? Wish life was perfect? And the dams break, hot tears stream down my face, and there is nothing i can do about it. I cant help but to think, and my thoughts aren't pleasant. Why? Why am I always thinking? I know. It's because I'm human, and its only nature. "Cogito ergo sum"- René Descartes ... I think therefore I am.