why cant i sleep? why is there so much going on in my head? whhhyy dear lord why. i understand humans think. well most do. but cant i please just for now. i need sleep. i need to have an appetite. this is just crazy. i cant sleep. i cant stop thinking. its like i have no control over my own body anymore. its like.... i might as well not try to control it....

all i do is hurt him. hurt hurt hurt! can i not make anyone happy? i might as well not be here. why does he hold on to me and continue to handle me this fragile glass heart of his. i keep dropping it. he'll glue it back together and give it back to me. how does he do that despite all the pain ive caused him.


i must shut my eyes in pain. suffer my thoughts i'll never get them all down. there is way to much on my mind... goodnight i guess....